(Note: This is Part 3 of a four part series on Marketing Yourself)

What is your packaging saying about you?

There are many ways products are marketed. One way is by their packaging. As you walk up and down the aisles of any store you will be confronted with every type of retail packaging, fighting for your attention. Retail packaging is meant to do several things. Its first job is to get your attention, almost saying, “Hey, look at me!” Second, packaging communicates a message about what’s inside the box or package. Third, by its style and design it sends a message about the quality of the product inside.

Like retail product packaging, you too are communicating to those around you by your packaging, so to speak. The way you look can say a lot about you. People size you up in seconds and make decisions about you before you ever open your mouth.

Some say, “People shouldn’t judge me by how I look. They should judge me for who I am.” That’s nice to say and probably right but it’s not reality. People do judge you by how you look. We do judge books by their cover. We wouldn’t even look in a book, let alone buy one, if we weren’t impressed with the cover. 

Here are 5 simple tips to help improve your personal packaging:

1. Dress nice

Okay, that sounds obvious, but look around you and see what people are wearing these days. You may have seen the Walmart People videos on YouTube. Make sure you’re not one of them! We all can do better. It doesn’t take a lot of money to dress nice in my opinion. Maybe some people can tell the difference between a $120 shirt and a $20 shirt but most can’t. A nice dress shirt that’s in good condition and pressed or a nice dress that fits well and looks good on you will make a big difference. It’s really not so much the price of the clothes but the choice of the styles and how they fit. If your clothes don’t fit, are old, worn out or out of style then it’s high-time you invested in some updated “personal packaging.”  

2. Dress to fit the occasion

I think, within reason, you should dress to fit the occasion, meaning dress the part. For every occasion there is an expected level of dress. Obviously you can wear anything from a swimsuit, a jogging outfit, sweats and a t-shirt, jeans and a polo shirt, all the way up to formal attire such as suits, tuxedos, formal dresses and gowns. It depends on the situation. You have to judge what is the appropriate dress for the occasion, whether it’s formal, nice business casual, casual or whatever.

3. Dress slightly one notch above

Compared to other people in your organization, are you dressed on par with them or below? When others are dressed in Dockers and a button up shirt are you dressed in jeans, flip-flops and a t-shirt? This is probably not good for your personal marketing plan.

It’s always been my feeling that you should dress slightly one notch above what you think everyone else will be wearing. The idea is not that you will look ridiculously out of place but that you will simply stand out slightly.

It’s much better to be one notch above than one notch below how you think everyone is going to be dressed. It’s very embarrassing to be in a situation where you are obviously underdressed. If everyone else is in a suit and you’re in an open-collared shirt, you will feel very out of place and others will see that. You will feel it. You can stand out in a positive way or a negative way. The point is, if you’re going to stand out, stand out on the above-end not the below-end.

4. Mind your health

This can be a struggle for many, but let’s face it; a healthy, fit person comes across in a much more positive light than someone that isn’t. Again, you are being sized up by everyone around you within seconds of meeting you. Whether it’s right or not, it IS happening. You do it. We all do it. If you are serious about your personal marketing plan then you need to address any health issues within your control that may turn other people off.

5. Smile

Your smile is definitely part of marketing yourself. Your total self-image and your packaging include your demeanor. Do you have a smile on your face? Are you cheerful and happy? You don’t have to say anything with a smile. Just a simple smile at somebody sends a huge, positive message. People will want to be around you. They will have a positive impression of you.  

Think for a moment about the people you deal with. Which people are you more likely to work with and cooperate with? Isn’t it generally those people who approach you with a smile on their face, who are cheerful and are in a good mood? You know how you feel when the person you’re dealing with has a scowl on their face. It’s not a pleasant experience. Their mood rubs off on you. By nature you tend to resist that person. You don’t want to be with that person. I’m sure, if you deal with any people at all, you can think of examples in both of these cases: those who are cheerful and have smiles on their faces and those who don’t. If you are like 99.9% of all human beings on this earth, you will prefer to work with and deal with the person who is happy and cheerful and has a smile on their face.

As part of your personal marketing plan you need to make sure you have a smile on your face as often as you can. Plus you just frankly look better with a smile on your face than when you don’t. So smile!

(Look for the upcoming final article in this four-part series on Marketing Yourself)

Photo by Arvind.

You have with you at all times a tool that takes very little effort to use and yet has a magical effect on the people around you. It is your smile.

Who would you rather deal with?

Think for a moment about the people you deal with on a daily basis such as your family, your co-workers or your friends. Which are the ones you enjoy being with the most? Isn’t it generally those people who approach you with a smile on their face, who are cheerful and seem to be in a good mood?

Now think for a moment about those people with whom you must deal with who rarely smile. I’m talking about those people who always seem to have a scowl on their face. It’s not a pleasant experience to be with them, is it? Their mood rubs off on you. By nature you tend to resist these kinds of people. We don’t want to be around them.

Now the big question: Which kind of person are you? When you walk into a room does the room become brighter because of your glowing, cheerful smile? Or do you bring with you a dark cloud of gloom that overshadows everyone else?

How is your smile?

You may not even realize which kind of person you are. You may think you have a pleasant, cheerful countenance and have just the opposite. I found this out the hard way about me! We had just returned from a family vacation and were watching our home videos of it. I was surprised that in nearly every shot of me I had what looked like a scowl on my face. I remember thinking to myself, “Is that how I normally look to other people?” I have been working since then to consciously smile more.

I read this little verse recently and thought I would share it with you. It goes like this:

The Smile

It costs nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive
without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash,
and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it,
and none are so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home,
fosters goodwill in a business,
and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary,
daylight to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad,
and nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen,
for it is something that is no earthly good to anyone
until it is given away.
And if in the course of the day some of your friends
should be too tired to give you a smile,
why don’t you give them one of yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much
as those who have none left to give!
- Author Unknown

What is the power of a smile?

A genuine smile has the power to put others at ease. It can cheer their day and lighten their burdens. It can help you connect with others. A smile can be contagious and change the whole feeling and mood of a room full of people. A smile not only benefits the recipient but also the originator. A smile simply makes you look better. It is an instant facelift. A great smile automatically draws people to you. There is truth in the saying:

“A smile is a little curve that sets a lot of things straight.”

I challenge you to be more conscious of your smile. When you are having a good time, be sure to tell your face! Your smile is your welcome mat. Make sure it is inviting. Use the magic power of your smile.

Are you the kind of person who struggles in social settings? Are you shy and tend to stand in the background? Do you run from social situations because they are scary and uncomfortable for you?

You may have seen other people that seem to project self-confidence. They appear to have no problem in any social situation. They make friends easily and seem to be able to connect with others. How do they do it?

Today I’m going to share 6 ways to help you develop confidence with others. If you follow these six simple tips you will begin to feel more confident with yourself and more comfortable in social settings. There is no magic here, just six simple tips. Here they are:

Tip Number 1: Be a Front-Row-Seater

When you attend any function such as a meeting, seminar, or class where there is a large group of people, what is the first row of seats that fill up? The back row! It seems like most everyone wants to be in the back, out of the way, unobtrusive, and unnoticed. They want to just slide into the back unobserved. You need to change that attitude. You need to be a front-row-seater.

Let’s face it; outgoing, confident people don’t sit on the back row. You will find those people sitting on the front row and that’s where you should be also. It’s a signal of your willingness to jump in and be a part of the situation. Sitting on the front row may be uncomfortable at first but it puts you right up there with the important people. Another benefit is that you are better able to contribute to the meeting or discussion than if you are sitting in the back. So that’s my first suggestion is to be a front-row-seater. 

Tip Number 2: Make eye contact

Have you noticed that shy people rarely look you in the eye? When you walk past them they tend to avoid you and look the other way. It’s very uncomfortable for them to look you in the eye. This usually happens because they are afraid to engage you, meaning if they acknowledge you in any way then they may have to actually say something to you. It’s easier and safer to pretend they don’t see you.

Maybe you are that kind of person and have that same problem. Maybe you don’t even notice it. Pay attention to how you react when you pass someone on the sidewalk or in the hallway at work. Do you look the other person in the eye and make eye contact? If not then you have some work to do.

If you want to convey the message that you are a self-assured and confident person then you need to practice looking others in the eye. Don’t be afraid of the other person. Acknowledge that you see they are there. I’m not saying you should stare them down or that it should be some sort of confrontation, but that it should be a friendly gaze into the other person’s eye.  

Tip Number 3: Walk 25% faster

I’ve noticed that there are some people who walk extremely slow. It’s amazing how slow some people walk. I don’t even know how they can walk so slowly. My body doesn’t even go that slow. They just sort of plod along as if they were pulling a 200 pound weight behind them, dragging from one place to the next. It’s frustrating sometimes to get stuck behind slow moving people! When a snail has to tell you to get out of road, then you know you’re going too slow!

When you see someone like this, what are your thoughts? I don’t know about you but I have a hard time not thinking of them in negative terms, like they are aimlessly going nowhere. I’m ashamed to admit that the term “loser” crosses my mind a time or two.   

But when you see someone walking briskly with their shoulders straight, their head up and they are moving forward as if nothing is going to stop them, you get the impression that they are a person that has confidence in themselves and are going places in life.  

So my tip is to walk 25% faster than you normally walk. When I say 25% faster, I don’t mean that you should get a pedometer and measure exactly your walking speed and then increase it by 25 %. What I mean is for you to make sure you walk briskly with confidence, like you have somewhere important to be. Walk like you have meaning and direction in your life.

Tip Number 4: Speak Up!

You may not be aware of it but many times when we speak to each other we speak in barely audible tones. Have you noticed that people who are confident and seem to be going somewhere speak up, speak clearly and speak loudly? Again it’s a message of confidence. It’s a message of “I’m not afraid to speak up. I have a healthy self-image. I have something important to say and I’m not just going to mumble it or say something under my breath, but I’m going to speak up and be heard!” So speak up!

Tip Number 5: Smile and smile big

There are some people who seem to carry the whole world on their shoulders. They have a perpetual cloud over their head and a sour expression on their face. They make you wonder what kind of sad, miserable life they live.

Then there are those who go around with a permanent smile on their face. They are friendly and confident and cheerful. They look you in the eye and say “Hello!”

Think about which kind of people you like to be around. Are they the ones that always have a grim look on their face or those that have a smile? Let’s face it, who wants to hang around a grump? We would much rather be around those that are happy and cheerful. It’s normal and natural.

So smile and smile big! Show others that you are happy and that you are glad to see them. Show them that you are pleased with who you are and where you are going in life.

Tip Number 6: Call the other person by name

It’s been said many times that the sweetest word in the English language is a person’s own name. People love it when somebody uses their name.

Let’s be honest. When someone takes the time to learn your name and remembers it the next time they meet you, aren’t you impressed? Don’t you instantly like that person? And when someone who should know your name can’t seem to recall it, doesn’t your opinion of them drop by about 1000 percent? The non-verbal message is that you are not important enough for them to learn your name. We are all human and have a need to feel important. When someone remembers your name you feel more important than when someone can’t remember your name.

We can have impact and power with other people when we take the trouble to learn their name and use it then next time we see them.

So that’s my message for today. If you want to develop more confidence with others and feel more comfortable in social settings, follow these 6 simple tips.