Cash in on the Universal Law of Human Behavior

blue-silk-tie-3pcs-349Let me start off by making a very bold statement. There is a law of human behavior that works every time. It never fails. There are no exceptions. It will work with rebellious teenagers, nagging wives, uncaring husbands, demeaning bosses, obstinate employees, or annoying neighbors. When you use this law you will get others to admire and respect you. You will get others to want to help you get what you want. You will convert your enemies into friends. You will get other people to do what you want them to do. Interested?

The Universal Law at work

Several years ago I had an experience that taught me this great lesson of human behavior. I had just finished a large software development project for an RV park and campground. It was a new reservation system and it required me to spend several days at the campground installing the software and training the employees how to use it.

One day as I was working behind the reservation desk a very large and expensive motorhome pulled up to the campground office. An older woman stepped out of the motorhome and came in to the office. She was an elegant and well-dressed woman. One look at her and you could tell she was a lady of class.

It wasn’t my job but since I was at the computer I offered to help her. As I pulled up her reservation information on the computer she stopped me for a moment and said, “Where did you get that lovely tie? It looks so good on you and matches your eyes.” She kept going on and on about my tie and insisted on knowing where I bought it. I was embarrassed to tell her I bought it at the local Kmart store. I thought she would laugh at me but no, she even wanted to know where the Kmart store was because she wanted to buy a tie just like it for her husband.

Now to you this may sound like some silly little incident that’s not even worth mentioning. It shouldn’t be worth mentioning except for the amazing effect it had on me that day. First of all, what kind of service do you suppose I gave that lady? Excellent service, that’s for sure! I made sure every little detail was taken care of for her. And for the entire rest of that day I simply felt wonderful and had a big smile on my face. Even now, over 15 years later, I can remember that incident like it was yesterday. And guess what, I still really like that lady!

Why does this law work?

So what happened there? What was it about that little incident that had such power over me? For Pete’s sake, a lady simply complimented me on my silly Kmart tie and my day was transformed! How could that be?

Whether she knew it or not, this woman used a proven law of human behavior. It is a law as universal as is Newton’s law of gravity. It is as much a part of man as his heart or his brain. It is this:

Every person in the world has a deep and burning desire, even an insatiable craving—to be liked, to be respected, to feel important.

The woman at the campground simply gave me what I craved the most and I became putty in her hands. I was ready to do whatever it took to satisfy her needs and make her happy.

Once you know the law, use it!

Now that you know what this law is, why don’t you do something with it? Why don’t you use this basic human drive in your daily relationships with other people? Once you know how to satisfy their longing for importance you will find your own influence with them rising greatly.

I believe in this statement by Les Giblin:

You want to make a good impression with the other fellow. But the most effective way ever discovered for impressing the other fellow is to let him know that you are impressed by him.

When you consider the remarkable consequences that can result from the littlest things, like a kind word, a pat on the shoulder, a smile, a tip of the hat, a simple complement, wouldn’t it be well to incorporate those things into your daily interactions with others?

You have the power within you

You have the power to give people what they crave: the feeling of importance, to be appreciated, to be noticed. Like the lady at the campground, it doesn’t cost you a dime to give it out. You don’t have to fear that you’ll use it all up. You have a never ending supply of it. Learn to use this great power and others will have a tremendous desire to help you get what you want. They will remember you for years with high regard because of how you made them feel. You have the power. Use it!

How to Get Total Cooperation from Others

Cooperation

Have you ever needed someone’s help only to find that getting it was like pulling teeth? Maybe you were going about it all wrong. Suppose there was another way to solicit help from others that would almost guarantee their total cooperation. If you are interested, then read on.

Try This Test

Try this test the next time you want someone to help you with something. It doesn’t really matter what you need help with. It can be shoveling snow, painting a fence or solving a computer problem.

Test 1: For the first test, simply ask someone to help you. Say, “Will you help me do this?” Tell them exactly what you want them to do and how to do it. You can even offer to pay them, but make it clear that all you are paying them to do is just what you want them to do. Now note what kind of cooperation you get.

Test 2: For this second test don’t just ask the other person to help you “do” something. Approach them by asking them to help you think about the job that needs to be done. Tell them you have a problem and would like their help in resolving it. Ask them what they think about the problem. Ask them for their opinion about how you are going about it. Again, note what level of cooperation you get.  

Inevitably, you will find that although you will get some level of cooperation with the first method, you will almost always get total cooperation with the second method.

A Basic Law of Human Nature

Why is it that if you are out in your yard painting your fence and you ask your neighbor, “Hey John, can you come over and help me paint my fence?” he will tell you to go take a hike?

But if you say, “John, I’m trying to paint my fence and I just don’t know if I’m doing it right. I just can’t seem to get the paint to go on very smooth. Do you have any ideas of what I’m doing wrong?” John will more than likely come over, take the paint brush out of your hand and say, “Here, let me show you how it’s done.”

The reason is simple. There is a basic law of human nature that says we are much more interested in our own problems than the problems of others. When you ask John to help you paint your fence, it is your problem. But when you ask for his advice about painting the fence, you give him a challenge to solve a problem and thus the problem becomes his.

We Need to Be Needed

Another factor involved here is the human need to feel important. By asking John for advice you gave him the feeling of importance, the feeling of being needed. We are much more willing to give of ourselves when we are being looked up to and sought out for our knowledge and skills. It is much easier to engage the brawn when the brain is involved.

This works with painting fences or running billion-dollar corporations. The next time you would like someone to do something, rather than tell them to do it, engage their brain. Let them contribute their ideas and become part of the solution to the problem and you will find them bending over backwards to help you. It’s human nature and it works every time.