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Conversation

Conversation

Jul 20th, 2011
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Conversation Guest author William Frank Diedrich

It has been said that one of the greatest fears people hold is speaking in front of a group of people, yet we seem to have no shortage of public speakers. There is a kind of speaking that inspires greater fear. This is the fear of having a real conversation.

Conversation is when two or more people talk openly and honestly, listen deeply to each other, and reach a common understanding. Agreement is nice, but irrelevant. The art of conversation is not about getting someone to agree with you. It is about seeking and finding a common understanding.

The first goal in conversation is to understand the thinking of the other person. The second goal is to articulate one’s own thinking in a way the other can understand. A true conversation is blameless, non judgmental, direct, and respectful. Conversation is a way of connecting. (more…)

7 Ways to Harness the Power of Questions

Jun 8th, 2011
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QuestionsAuthor – Kevin Eikenberry

We all use questions everyday – in every part of our lives: as a leader, as a peer, as a parent, as a team member, as a spouse. We can’t get through the day without asking at least some questions. Even if the only questions you ask all day are:

“How are you doing?”, or

“What’s new?”

You are still asking questions.

So I’m not going to urge you to simply ask questions; that doesn’t make much sense – you already do that. The challenge I have for you today is to ask more and better questions.

When you ask more and better questions you can become more effective as a leader, a peer, a parent, a team member, a spouse and more. Here are ten specific ways that will lead you to asking more and better questions – and as a result become more effective and get better results. (more…)

The Power of Your Words

Jun 6th, 2011
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Power of WordsGuest author William Frank Diedrich

Most of us underestimate the power of our words. We sometimes miss how our words set a tone. A few words can make someone’s day, or shatter it. Words can inspire someone to buy, or to go away without buying. Our words can move someone to do their best work, or to work against us. Your spoken words serve either to build up or to tear down. They serve to empower and inspire, or to disempower and hurt. Words are either life affirming or destructive. For this reason we should choose our words carefully. “The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human…like a sword it has two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.” (The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz)

When you are talking to someone ask yourself this question: “Who am I being and what is the impact of my words on the people around me?” The power of your words lies in the intention behind them. Is it your intention to create a resolution or to be right? Do you intend to help the organization accomplish its mission or to satisfy the need to take someone down? We communicate best when we are clear about who we are and what we intend. This kind of clarity prevents us from saying words that are harmful to ourselves and others. It may prevent us from engaging in harmful gossip and complaining. (more…)

Do You Love to Gossip? Learn How to Stop It

May 18th, 2011
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GossipAuthor – Nelson Berry

Don’t you just love to gossip? For some reason it is very interesting and engaging to talk about other people’s lives. But then you also know that gossip is entirely wrong. It is completely unproductive and destructive. A lot of relationships have been severed just because of rumors.

How do you stop yourself from gossiping? Consider the following tips:

1. Keep yourself busy. Gossip often happens when you have nothing else better to do. You grab the mobile phone and talk about your other friends with someone. You go online and chat.

One of the best ways therefore to minimize being involved in rumors is to be very productive. When you have a lot of things to do, you won’t have more time for senseless things. Moreover, these activities can occupy your mind.

2. Consider your self-interests first. Before you think of others, think about yourself. Usually, you gossip about others simply because you couldn’t find something interesting about your own life. Perhaps it’s high time you pursue a hobby, take up a sport, or go back to school. Travel or spend more time doing missions and volunteer work. These activities boost self-awareness and self-esteem. Most of all, they inspire you to find more good things in life.

3. Cut back on your sources of gossip. Stop reading your friends’ blogs, watching television (more…)

How to Improve Your Conversation Skills and Make Friends

Apr 8th, 2011
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ConversataionGuest author Joshua Uebergang

If you are a shy or nervous person by nature, than simple conversations can often be arduous, excruciating affairs, with all of your fears and anxieties plaguing your thoughts and actions. But never fear, there is a simple remedy for you to defeat these fears and anxieties – building for yourself a basic foundation of good conversation skills. Once you improve your conversation skills, you will gain confidence and watch the shyness and nervousness melt away.

RELAX
The easiest way to keep from stumbling all over yourself in a conversation is to try to relax, stay calm, and quiet your racing mind. Become confident by breathing deliberately and slowly to establish a rhythm and you’ll soon be able to focus clearly on what you wish to say in conversation.

ASK MEANINGFUL OR CLARIFYING QUESTIONS
This is an important conversation skill. The ability to expand the discussion through insightful and engaged inquiries reveals to your counterpart that, not only are you paying attention and invested in the conversation, you are taking the time and effort to thoroughly think it through, and that you are willing to cover a particular thing from every possible angle. (more…)

Did You Say What I Heard?

Mar 25th, 2011
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ConversationGuest author Rebecca Nagy

I was sitting across from some clients – the topic – “he doesn’t seem to listen to what I am saying”. As I watched the dynamic, I noticed that one of the group kept looking around the room, at his feet, picking imaginary lint off his pants – looking everywhere but at his co-worker. He wasn’t “hearing” what she was saying, he was searching for responses. In my over 20 years of counseling and coaching couples, individuals and groups, the first topic I always address is communication.

Whether you are communicating with a spouse, client or co-worker, the hearing mechanism is key to understanding what is actually being said.

There is a difference between listening and hearing. We “listen” to music – but when we are engaged in conversation we need to “hear” what the other person is saying.

The first key to really hearing someone is to connect to them by looking them straight in the eyes. This way you can get in tune with their body language, flashes of emotion and facial expression. You can also focus better on what is being said, versus what you think they are saying. We listen and hear through filters that are driven by past experiences and the emotional charge related to those experiences. (more…)

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