Isn’t that the way we are? We seldom perform as well as we know how. I’ve heard people say that “knowledge is power.” To a certain degree it can be. But in my own personal experience I find that I know a lot of things that I should be doing but I don’t. Just having knowledge about something doesn’t necessarily translate to the ability or power to do it.

Many times over the years I would tell my children to do their homework. Invariably they would answer back, “I know dad!” and I would say back to them, “Then do what you know!” It’s kind of a joke around my house because I have said that phrase so many times to my children: Do what you know.

How many self-improvement books have you read over your life time? I have hundreds of them! We probably learn ten-times more than what we ever put into action in our lives. Yet we keep buying books and wanting to learn more.

At some point it’s time to stop learning and start doing. We need to put our knowledge to use. I’m not suggesting we completely stop learning but what good is learning if we never use it?

Here is my suggestion: How about making a list of all the things you know you should do but aren’t. Then from your list choose two or three things and start doing them! You can read books, read blogs and listen to tapes and CDs till the cows come home but until you actually do something you are going nowhere. It’s time to take real action! At the end of the day, knowing the answer means nothing if you don’t do anything about it.

Fork in the road

What if there was a key behavior that if you could master, would save you untold pain, worry, effort and time? What if this behavior could make your efforts to achieve total self-mastery ten times easier? Today I’m going to teach you a simple concept that seems to elude most people, yet is so simple.

One thing you share in common with nearly every one else is that your day is full of decisions. Dozens of times a day you are faced with a fork in the road and must decide which way to go. Humans are naturally lazy creatures so when you are faced with two choices you tend to gravitate toward the easiest path. Why choose the long, hard road when you can take the short, easy one? Or why do something when you just don’t feel like it? As you stand there at the fork in the road and evaluate the situation, the pull to the easy road becomes powerfully strong. More often than not, if you are like the average person, you are sucked into the easy road.

The problem here is that the easy road is not always the best road to follow in the long run. In our minds we know which road is the best road but somehow we end up going the wrong way. What I am explaining here is the answer to a long held question. It is:

“Why do we do what we do when we know what we know?”

In other words, why do people do things they know aren’t good for them? The answer is because we are making our decisions at the wrong time. We are making our decisions when we are standing at the fork in the road.

Let me give you an example. If every morning you make the decision of whether to get up or not at the time your alarm clock goes off, you are making that decision at the fork in the road. In your mind you are deliberating, “Should I get up? Should I sleep for ten more minutes? I’m so tired! Just a few more minutes of sleep.” And back to bed you go.

Do you see the problem here? The time to make the decision of when to get up in the morning is not at 6:00 in the morning!

“Right decisions are easiest to make when we make them well in advance, having ultimate objectives in mind; this saves a lot of anguish at the fork, when we’re tired and sorely tempted.” – Spencer W. Kimball

There are dozens of decisions we face every day that should already have been decided long ago. We shouldn’t have to agonize and re-decide the same decisions a hundred times! Many of these decisions only need to be made once. This statement by William James describes it so well:

“There is no more miserable person than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work are subjects of deliberation. Half the time of such a man goes to deciding or regretting matters which ought to be so ingrained in him as practically not to exist for his consciousness at all.” — William James

The whole point we are trying to make is to determine early on what things you will and will not do and be done with it. Look at your long-term objectives and make the decisions now that will lead you in that direction. You only need to make those decisions once.

For example, my wife made the decision long ago that she will go out running every morning, no matter what. There is no deciding each morning as to whether she is going running or not. That decision has already been made. There is no painful deliberation and analyzing that takes place. It is as automatic for her as the rising of the sun each day.

Now I want you to think about the decisions you make on a daily basis. Aren’t there a number of them you could make once and for all and be done with them? Aren’t there decisions about what you will eat or not eat, decisions about exercising, decisions about daily habits, decisions about all kinds of things that you can make once and forever be done with them?

I challenge you to consciously examine your life and make this one key behavior change. Examine each fork in the road you come across on a daily basis and see which ones you can decide once and for all. You will be so much further along the road to self-mastery.

“We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.” — Aneurin Bevan

What are your thoughts about making decisions once and for all? What are the ones you have the biggest challenges with? Have you found ways to make this process easier? Please share with us in the comments below.

Thank you.

Master Yourself, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson

However, I have found it very difficult at times to get myself out in the mornings to do a daily run. So a couple of years ago I began hiking and trail running and have since fallen in love with it. I am blessed to have a mountain with several different hiking trails within a mile or two from my home. So now my daily exercise consists mainly of hiking.

I find hiking to be so much more interesting than running on the streets. Running consists mainly of watching asphalt go by, mile after mile. Boring! Hiking and trail running, on the other hand, have so much more to offer as far as keeping it interesting. Yes, you do have to keep your eye on the trail, but you are also surrounded by nature. And nature never stays the same. It’s always changing. The transitions from each season to the next are wonderful to witness. The change from hiking in the morning daylight of summer to hiking in the dark, like I do now in the fall, is stimulating and challenging.

So, most every day I go out in the early mornings for about a half-hour hike in the foothills and canyons near my home. On Saturday mornings I go on longer hikes for about two hours in length. Here are some photos from last Saturday’s hike. The fall colors were dazzling!

This morning’s hike was marvelous. It was dark yet there was enough light from the quarter-moon to light my trail to where I didn’t need my flashlight. There were thin clouds moving quickly past the moon in the dark that were simply beautiful.

I have to admit, I didn’t feel so great this morning when I got up at 5:30 a.m. In fact I felt lousy. I was so tired and had a headache. So it took a lot of self-discipline to get myself going. I was amazed that as I went on my hike I began feeling better and better and by the time I was done I actually felt great and still do. That just goes to show you that you have to stick it out and don’t let aches and pains or fatigue stop you from your daily workout.

Have a great day!

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson

(This entry is by Ralph Waldo Trine from his book THIS MYSTICAL LIFE OF OURS written in 1907, and is now in the public domain.)

Have we within our power the ability to determine at all times what types of habits shall take form in our lives? In other words, is habit-forming, character-building, a matter of mere chance, or have we it within our own control? We have, entirely and absolutely.

For there is a simple, natural, and thoroughly scientific method that all should know. A method whereby old, undesirable, earth-binding habits can be broken, and new, desirable, heaven-lifting habits can be acquired, — a method whereby life in part or in its totality can be changed, provided one is sufficiently in earnest to know, and, knowing it, to apply the law.

Thought is the force underlying all. And what do we mean by this? Simply this: Your every act — every conscious act — is preceded by a thought. Your dominating thoughts determine your dominating actions. The acts repeated crystallize themselves into the habit. The aggregate of your habits is your character. Whatever, then, you would have your acts, you must look well to the character of the thought you entertain. Whatever act you would not do, –habit you would not acquire you must look well to it that you do not entertain the type of thought that will give birth to this act, this habit . It is a simple psychological law that any type of thought, if entertained for a sufficient length of time, will, by and by, reach the motor tracks of the brain, and finally burst forth into action. Murder can be and many times is committed in this way, the same as all undesirable things are done. On the other hand, the greatest powers are grown, the most God-like characteristics are engendered, the most heroic acts are performed in the same way.

The thing clearly to understand is this: That the thought is always parent to the act. Now, we have it entirely in our own hands to determine exactly what thoughts we entertain. In the realm of our own minds we have absolute control, or we should have, and if at any time we have not, then there is a method by which we can gain control, and in the realm of the mind become thorough masters.

Here let us refer to that law of the mind which is the same as is the law in connection with the reflex nerve system of the body, the law which says that whenever one does a certain thing in a certain way it is easier to do the same thing in the same way the next time, and still easier the next, and the next, and the next, until in time it comes to pass that no effort is required, or no effort worth speaking of; but on the contrary, to do the opposite would require the effort. The mind carries with it the power that perpetuates its own type of thought, the same as the body carries with it through the reflex nerve system the power which perpetuates and makes continually easier its own particular acts. Thus a simple effort to control one’s thoughts, a simple setting about it, even if at first failure is the result, and even if for a time failure seems to be about the only result, will in time, sooner or later, bring him to the point of easy, full, and complete control.

Each one, then, can grow the power of determining, controlling his thought, the power of determining what types of thought he shall and what types he shall not entertain. For let us never part in mind with this fact, that every earnest effort along any line makes the end aimed at just a little easier for each succeeding effort, even if, as has been said, apparent failure is the result of the earlier efforts. This is a case where even failure is success, for the failure is not in the effort, and every earnest effort adds an increment of power that will eventually accomplish the end aimed at.

Epiphany - I’m not sure of the definition but I think it has to do with an “Ah ha!” moment when you learn something new or understand something for the first time. I feel like I’m having one today.

Right now, as I write this, I’m on top of a mountain, taking a day to be alone to think and to meditate.

A depressing discovery

Let me back up a little. I took some time yesterday to try and come up with a plan for change. As I went through years and years of my files containing goals and lists of changes I wanted to make I became very depressed. I saw a pattern of doing the same thing over and over and never making any real progress. For a brief moment as I sat at my desk at home I just felt like giving up, like it was a losing battle that I’ll never get a handle on.

I have to confess – I am a goal and list person – meaning I like to make lists of my goals, the changes I want to make. When I saw how many lists of goals I had made over the years and how I seem to be writing the same things over and over again and never making any progress – well, that really got me down.

So when I went to bed last night I was pretty bummed and I couldn’t sleep. I knew there must be some other way this is all done. I went to my library and looked through my books and pulled three out. I had already read these books so I just wanted to skim and read those things that I had underlined. The first two books were okay but the third book really made sense. It is entitled The DNA of Success by Jack M. Zufelt. I was up until 2:00 a.m. reading.

An enlightening discovery

He pretty much described me and my failure at making goals work. Then he talked about Core Desires. I won’t go into a lot of detail here but in a nutshell your Core Desires are those things you want so much and are so much a part of you that you don’t have to write it down. It’s inscribed in your heart. He talked about the idea that there are times when you decide to do something and for one reason or another you just can’t get it done. You procrastinate and it just doesn’t happen. And then there are other times when you get your mind on something and you just can’t stop, you’re obsessed with it, you can stay up all hours of the night and you have tons of energy.

The difference between the two is the second one involved a Core Desire and the first one didn’t. So the book really made sense to me – that perhaps much of what I was trying to accomplish was unrelated to my Core Desires or at least I need to look at it as a means to accomplish my Core Desires.

Michael Jordan

One example he gave that hit me hard was of Michael Jordan. No one can dispute that this man is an amazing success – yet he never had to sit down and write out his goals. It was coded in his DNA that he wanted to be the best basketball player there ever was. He didn’t have to write this down or make long lists of changes he needed to make. He saw in his mind and heart exactly who he wanted to be and worked every day at achieving that. He says:

I have the desire to become the best person and player I can become, but I approach everything step by step. It’s all mental for me. I never write anything down. I just concentrate on the next step. I envision what kind of person and player I want to become and I approach it with that end in mind. I know exactly where I want to go, and I focus on getting there.

Because he did that, all of the details took care of themselves. Instead of driving himself like a taskmaster he was totally motivated and driven internally to reach his aim, his Core Desire.

Yearnings, desires, passions

I see now where I have been going about it all wrong. What’s funny is I have hit upon this idea from time to time in my notes and writings but never recognized it for how powerful it truly was. In fact just recently I was out for a hike in the morning. As I do from time to time I recorded my thoughts on a micro-cassette recorder. This is what I said:

June 13, 2007 – Sometimes we focus on the smaller things like getting up on time or overeating or whatever, and those are good things. But what we need more is an overall self-image of who we are. Sometimes if we see the big picture or the overall image of ourselves then the little things fall into place.

As I’ve said before, I believe God gives us clues about what our purpose is in this life, what our life’s mission is. We need to examine our yearnings and desires and passions and understand that God doesn’t just put them there to torment us. He doesn’t give us these yearnings and desires for no reason at all any more than he doesn’t give a honey bee the desire to seek and gather nectar without the existence of a flower. It’s a natural thing. You have desires and yearnings because you really do have a purpose in this life and you really do have the possibility of achieving it. That’s my belief.

So there you have it. There is another way to achieve that doesn’t require goals, motivational speakers, positive mental attitudes, affirmations or visualizations. Some of these may be the wheels on the train but they don’t provide the steam. Your Core Desires provide the steam.

A prime example

It’s interesting that as I learn about this concept of Core Desires I can now look back in my life and see where I have experienced it without realizing it. In fact, my creation of this website is a prime example. It was only one month ago that I came across the concept of creating a website such as this. I saw how it had the possibility of fulfilling several of my Core Desires. I dove in head first, so-to-speak. My every waking moment found me thinking and pondering this idea. I was totally obsessed with it and began immediately to work on it. You could hardly call it work – it was total enjoyment for me. I created one whole website and wasn’t satisfied with it and scrapped it and created another. I learned all I could about websites and blogging and on and on. It was pure enjoyment for me because it was helping fulfill one of my Core Desires.

The poem from the past

Its funny how my past comes back to haunt me or bless me at times. Ironically many years ago, before I was even married, I had come across an unnamed poem that I liked so much that I committed it to memory. Since I didn’t know its name I entitled it Desire. I haven’t recited it or even thought about it in years and yet a framed copy of it hangs in my office. It’s ironic because of how precisely it describes what I’m talking about today. This is the poem:

Desire
(Author unknown)

If you want something bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
To work day and night for it,
To give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it,

If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough
Never to tire of it,
And life seems all empty and useless without it,
And all that you dream and scheme is about,

If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, plan for it,
Pray with all your strength for it,

If you’ll simply go after the thing that you want
With all your capacity, strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope, confidence and stern pertinacity,

If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt
Nor sickness nor pain of body or brain
Will keep you away from the aim that you want,

If you’re dogged and grim,
Besiege and beset it,
And you’ll get it!

I have recited that poem perhaps a hundred times over the years, but today, for me, it has new meaning.

Mission in Life and Core Desires

Things don’t happen in your life unless you have a deep desire for it, a passion for it. You can write down all the goals you want but unless they are tied to your Core Desires they just aren’t going to happen. I suggest you read my articles entitled: An Overpowering Mission in Life and Ponder Your Life – Find Your Mission. What these articles do is help you understand and discover your Mission in Life, which, in reality, is the fulfillment of your Core Desires. As I continue to learn more about these concepts I will share with you what I learn. Thank you.

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson