Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want

I think many times we focus on the bad habit or behavior that we want to change and that’s where our mind is, that’s where our attention is, that’s where the vision is, the pictures that we have in our mind. Now I’ll go back to the example of the person who overeats. You know they say, “I’ve got to change, I’ve got to go on a diet, I’ve got to quit eating the food.” They put all of their focus on not eating and they are constantly thinking about food, saying things to themselves like; “I can’t eat the chips and salsa. I can’t eat the chocolate cake in the fridge. I’ve got to count calories.” Their whole focus is all on food, and not eating the food.

Dominant thoughts

The problem is, the picture that you have in your mind when you’re in this mode is of food and your mind draws toward what you have pictures of in your head. Let me rephrase that, not your mind, but whatever pictures you have in your mind; that’s what you’re drawn towards. The person who wants to quit swearing for example, if he’s just constantly telling himself, “I’m not going to swear, I’m not going to swear.” The thoughts in his mind are all about swearing.
The focus can’t be on what it is your trying to stop. It’s got to be on the behavior you’re going to replace it with. So for the person who wants to change the way they look, their physical appearance, their health, they shouldn’t be focusing on not eating food. They should be focusing on what they’re going to look like in six months or a year down the road-what kind of lifestyle are they going to have? It’s got to be a lifestyle change.

“See” what you want

They can’t say, “I’m going to stop eating food for the next ten days” or “I’m going to stop eating until I’m down to a certain weight and then resume my regular lifestyle.” That’s not going to work. You’ve got to see in your mind who you’re going to become. And then once you decide what kind of life you’re going to lead, are you going to be a biker, a runner, are you going to get up and do aerobics, kick boxing, whatever it is, you need to see pictures of yourself in good health, pictures of yourself in your mind having the body, the physique that you want, looking the way you want and then move towards that picture.

Suddenly you start to make changes in your life because your current behavior is incompatible with the way you see yourself. You need to start looking, acting, walking, and talking like that person.

Now that is focusing on a small part of your entire self, your physical body. You can bring this up to even a higher level and see yourself as a completely different person, a person you have described and envisioned in every detail, the real “you” deep inside of you. You begin to change every aspect of your life. It all begins with what you are focusing your mind on on a regular basis. So be aware of your thoughts, be aware of the images and pictures you have in your mind because whatever your dominant thought is, that is what you will create in your life.

Copyright © 2011 Gary N. Larson

One of the greatest tragedies in this world are those who fail to find and achieve their purpose or mission in life. This article will help you discover what your mission in life is. 

A number of years ago I took my family to ride an old-time train powered by a massive steam engine. Before that train could move, the water temperature in the boiler had to reach two hundred and twelve degrees. Water will not generate steam at two hundred degrees. Even two hundred and ten degrees will not create the steam to move a train. For water to boil and steam to be generated it must reach the temperature of two hundred and twelve degrees. Lukewarm water will not move anything.

I believe the vast majority of people in life are like the train trying to move with lukewarm water – almost boiling but never quite there. They wonder why their life is stalled, why they never seem to be able to move forward. They work hard but success seems to elude them.

The temperature difference between water that is boiling and water that is not is only a degree or two but the difference in results can be dramatic. In the same sense the difference between a person with an overpowering mission in life and someone who is merely living life can seem small but the results are without comparison.

Achievers have an overpowering mission

One of the greatest tragedies in this world are those who fail to find and achieve their purpose or mission in life. The world is full of those whose daily existence is simply working for the weekend, plugging along until retirement or simply wondering whether they are in the right place doing the right thing. They know deep down inside that something is missing, that they are not doing what they do best. We each have only one life to live. How terrible it would be to come to the end of your life and realize you did not live to your fullest God-given potential.

The greatest achievements in this world have all been made by people with an overpowering mission. Like the steam that drives a locomotive, an overpowering mission drives every life of achievement. Think about every person of great accomplishment that you know of. Is it not true that each one had an overpowering mission?

Can you imagine Michael Jordan, Steven Spielberg, Mother Teresa, Christopher Columbus, Thomas Edison, Orville and Wilbur Wright, Mozart, or Henry Ford simply working for retirement, checking off the days on their calendars for when they can sit back and relax and watch TV? Ludicrous to even think about! No, these people were driven like a screaming locomotive. They each had an overpowering mission and there was no stopping them.

“The world always steps aside for people who know where they’re going.”
- Miriam Viola Larsen

What is an overpowering mission in life?

Call it a quest, a calling, a passion, a grand purpose, or a reason for being. A mission in life isn’t something you force on yourself. It is something you discover within. You are born with it. It is coded in your DNA. It flows in your blood and is written in your heart. It is not something that is separate from you. It is as much a part of you as stripes are a part of a zebra. You cannot get away from it. It eats with you, sleeps with you, and goes wherever you are because it is a part of you.

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
- Helen Keller

Once you find your mission your imagination is engaged and you have purpose. You have a reason for getting up in the morning. It fuses your values, beliefs, thoughts and actions into one unified force. It gives you a definition of who you are. Your mission is something that excites you, that drives you. When you are living your mission you look forward to every day. You live life with passion!

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.”
- Albert Einstein

Where does an overpowering mission come from?

I believe the creation of this world was not a mistake or some grand fluke of nature. It was created for a divine purpose. It was created as a place for God to send His children to learn and to grow and to develop their gifts and talents to their fullest. Each of us were sent here with certain things to learn and certain missions to perform. I believe in a Grand Design for everything.

“I cannot believe that God would choose to play dice with the universe.”
- Albert Einstein

It is my belief that each of us has been sent to this earth with a divine mission from God and it is one of the main purposes of life to discover it and pursue it.

Do you have an overpowering mission?

When I was in my late teens I had a good friend named Paul. In fact we roomed together for a while. I liked Paul a lot but there was one thing that really bugged me about him – he knew and had always known that when he grew up he would be a doctor. It never was a question in his mind. The reason it bugged me was the fact that I had no idea at that time what I wanted to do with my life and he did. It just didn’t seem fair.

Looking back I can see I had many clues and signs back then. But I didn’t see them!

Some of us come forth from our mother’s womb knowing our mission and purpose in life. Others of us, like myself, have a long struggle before the light finally turns on and we see clearly what our overpowering mission in life is.

One of the problems many of us face is that we have suppressed and denied for so long the feelings and yearnings inside us that they no longer come with the power and force they once did.

It’s like the puppy that follows the little boy home. The boy wants the puppy in a terrible way but knows his mother will never let him have it. So he tells the puppy to go away but of course it doesn’t. He yells at it but the puppy just keeps happily following him, wagging its little tail. It’s a persistent little puppy that won’t go away no matter what the boy tries. Finally, out of frustration the little boy picks up a rock and throws it at the puppy and with a yelp it runs off. It will be a long time before that puppy tries to follow the boy home again.

Too many of us have chased off our dreams and desires for so long that they rarely come back and if they do, they are timid and weak. That doesn’t mean they aren’t real and they aren’t important. They are still there. It just may take some coaxing to get them to come out again.

How do you discover your overpowering mission?

“Know thyself, and to thine own self be true, then thou canst not be false with any man.”
Shakespeare

There are many books and articles written on this subject. One particular book I own devotes over 150 pages with endless exercises and quizzes to help you discover your mission in life. I believe this type of introspection can be helpful but if it takes 150 pages to get you to find your mission in life, is it really an overpowering mission? I think it is much less complicated than that. There should be some rather large clues in your life and that is where you should look.

My own personal experience may be of some help to you. After I got married I began a career in the computer field. How was that chosen? My wife and my mother-in-law sat me down one day and succeeded in persuading me to go in that direction because there was good money to be made in computers. So for nineteen years of my life and over a million lines of computer code later I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life doing that. But what then did I really want to do?

I began an earnest undertaking of finding out what I really should be doing with my life. A huge advantage I had was that I have kept a personal journal and have written in it nearly every day for the last 26 years of my life. So I began the rather large task of reviewing my journals from the first to the last. Frankly, I was amazed at what I found. I found over forty-three journal entries where I had expressed a deep desire to teach personal achievement, personal improvement, or personal change. My, how many times did that little dog come after me and I shooed him away or ignored him? Let me share one example from my journal, dated many years ago:

I wish I had the time each night to write down all the feelings that I have, but I never seem to have the time. I’ve been wanting to write about some ideas and aspirations I’ve been having lately, so here I go.

I like my job and it pays me very well. But sometimes I get the feeling that I have more to contribute in life besides computer programs. I sit at work each day and look at a little saying in front of my desk. It says, ‘Find out what you do best, then do it.’ I feel like I’m a good programmer and I do a good job at it. But I don’t feel that that is the thing I do best. I truly feel that I have an inborn ability to speak to people, to teach, to motivate, to give presentations to other people. The times when I have had opportunities to do this I have done very well, and most important, I have enjoyed it very much.

But how does one change from being a programmer to someone who teaches, speaks to, and motivates people? And also isn’t there a little vanity involved here? I mean, who am I to come out and say I can do these things and why do I want to do them? For the glory or recognition? I don’t want to be like that but how do you avoid it?

Plus what about my poor wife and her feelings and concerns – especially about family security? Here she thought I was all set and content in a nice career and now I’m thinking about changing. Is she going to think now that I’ll never be content at doing anything?

So, I shooed the puppy away then and every other time he came romping back into my thoughts. But he always came back. Finally I couldn’t deny it any longer. I had to pursue this powerful, overmastering desire; this mission in life.

“While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered. Our purpose is something we have been doing all along, and will continue to do, regardless of circumstances, until the day we die.”
- Peter McWilliams

I don’t have a magic formula to give you in finding your life’s mission. I will say that it may take some deep thought, some making of lists and some review of your life thus far. For some this will be easy. For others it may take some coaxing to get the puppy to come back. Just be patient. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. You want to get it right!

“The secret of man’s being is not only to live but to have something to live for. Without a stable conception of the object of life, man would not consent to go on living.”
-The Grand Inquisitor in Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov

It’s never too late

I have run a number of marathons. Each time I do I am amazed at the number of people who are older than me who not only run marathons but beat me to the finish! I will be running along, thinking I’m doing well and then a short, stubby, seventy-year old woman passes me up! It’s incredible! Life does not end when you turn forty, or sixty or even eighty. The history books are filled with people who have accomplished great things in the latter years of their lives.

I have always liked the saying that goes:

“Did you stop doing the things you did when you were young because you are old or are you old because you stopped doing the things you did when you were young?”

Read that again if you have to. I feel there is much to be learned from that statement. I once listened to a tape by the author Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. On the tape he asked a series questions to get you to think about yourself. One of my favorite questions he asked was this, “If you didn’t know how old you were, if there was no record of your birth, how old would you be?” His point was that the idea of how old you are has more to do with your thinking than with your birth certificate.

Many adults have the impression that once they pass a certain age they can never achieve or accomplish much. They feel their opportunities are lost. I say baloney! Every day that you wake up above ground is a day of opportunity!

The person who discovers or resurrects their overpowering mission late in life should not let age or time or circumstances get in their way. No matter how long they may have been delayed from it by mistakes or missteps, they should make a solemn resolve that they will not leave this life without pursuing and accomplishing their dream.

Clues from God

Our passions, longings and desires that arise from our heart are not just vain imaginations or hopeless dreams. They are the pointers, the clues, the guides to our possibilities. They are the prophecies, predictions, and blueprints of what we may become.

The honeybee doesn’t have an instinct to gather nectar without a real flower to match it; nor has the Creator planted within us yearnings and desires and dreams for a better, fuller, life without the possibility of achieving it. There is a divine reason and purpose behind our genuine desires.

I don’t believe there is anybody anywhere in this world that can be truly happy until they have found their true passion, their true heart’s desire, their overpowering mission in life and then followed and pursued it to the ends of the earth.

Copyright © 2008 Gary N. Larson

Author: Mike Paetzold

Where does self confidence come from? How do we get it? Why don’t I have it? The answer to all of these questions can be answered with one word – you! Self confidence starts with you, your perception of yourself, and what other people think about your actions or behavior.

For some of us, a lack of self confidence only affects our high ambitions. You might have always wanted to get up on stage, or to be a professional singer or actor for example. Perhaps your life dream is to travel the world, visit different countries or cities, but you don’t have the self confidence to do it. For others, the problem of self confidence is much closer to home – in the office, business meetings, public speaking events or presentations.

Self confidence issues affect most of us at some time, and we can usually find ways of getting around the problem. Avoidance is one tactic we often use – if we can get out of an intimidating situation we’ll make up excuses not to take part. However, there are times when we can’t get out of it, or we really don’t want to. If a lack of self confidence is preventing you from doing trying something new, or from succeeding in your working life, it’s time to do something about it.

The starting point in improving your self confidence is understanding what causes the problem. Low self esteem, not believing in yourself or your ability, feeling inadequate compared to your colleagues or friends or maybe some kind of trauma from your childhood are all contributing factors. By examining the reasons for your low self confidence, you’re halfway there!

Taking positive action to overcome your fears is the next step to help boost your self confidence. A simple way to do this is by taking on small challenges. You have allowed your brain to associate certain events or actions with fear, so you’ve already pre-empted the outcome of these situations. By taking a small step towards conquering this, you’ll find that the result is most likely not as bad as you think – in fact, you’ll probably be surprised about how good you feel and your self confidence will instantly increase.

When you’ve completed your first small challenge, congratulate yourself on achieving your aim. A small reward can often help. You’re already on the right path to improving your self confidence, so you’re ready to take it to the next level. This doesn’t need to be a huge task; you don’t want to undo all the good work. Building up your self confidence takes time, and while you might want to leap ahead, it can be a good idea to take things slowly at first. Steadily increase the risks you’re taking to get your self confidence to where you want to be. Risk taking does not, of course, mean jumping off a bridge, but the perceived risk of something happening as a result of your actions is usually the biggest barrier with self confidence.

Self confidence problems are common for most people, and there are excellent resources to learn to deal with these issues, but if you do have severe difficulty facing certain situations you should seek professional help.

About the Author

Mike Paetzold has more information on improving your self confidence at this site on Self Confidence.

Author – Vera Stark

Obstacles are something that you are faced with throughout your day and are usually perceived as a hindrance or a problem. You encounter obstacles in your business, your work place, your relationships, your health and your personal lives.

So what if you were to change your perception?

You see, it isn’t the obstacle that is the problem; it is your perception of the obstacle that makes it what it is. When you see something as being an obstacle you immediately have an opinion or judgment about it. Your thoughts take over creating a feeling inside of you that is in alignment with that thought. It is these thoughts and feelings that stop you.

Imagine that you were working to achieve one of your goals for the day. All of a sudden something happens that you weren’t counting on. Maybe it is something unexpected around your finances or perhaps you had a time line in which to finish something and your boss decides that he needs it 2 hours earlier. These would be considered obstacles or so called problems. They are things that have gotten in your way of completing what you were doing.

Many times we think of our age, not having enough time or feeling that we can’t do something an obstacle, but the only obstacle is your own thoughts about it and your choice to either move forward regardless of it or let it stop you.

I heard an amazing story once that really helped me to see why we have obstacles and barriers in front of us that I would like to share with you.

One day this ladies daughter was showing her an aquarium full of tadpoles. She had purchased a whole bag full of them for her children to watch grow from tadpoles into frogs. The lady noticed that there was a big rock in the aquarium. When she asked her daughter why she put a rock right in the middle of the tadpoles’ environment, she told her an interesting story.

She said that when she went to the pet store to buy the tadpoles, the gentleman told her to be sure to put a big rock right in the middle of the aquarium. The tadpoles’ must have this obstacle to give them the incentive to climb up and thus split their little wiggly tails so that their legs can begin to develop. if they have no rock or obstacle to climb up on, they will never turn into frogs. They cannot learn how to hop by just swimming around in water. They must have something causing resistance to give them the incentive to leap forward.

The man went on to tell her that last year a school teacher came back to the store and complained because none of her tadpoles had ever turned into frogs. She had put all of them in an aquarium and let them swim around but they never became frogs. He asked her if she had put a big obstacle, like a rock, in the middle of the aquarium. She said that she had not. She did not know that a tadpole will remain a tadpole unless it faces some obstacle or barrier that forces it to grow.

Why you have obstacles and barriers in front of you is not to hinder you, but to cause you to grow. It is not so much what the object is in front of you that matters as much as it is your attitude towards it.

If you just realize that every obstacle that you face is really a gift that is giving you the opportunity to grow, your thoughts about it will be more positive.

I now look at every obstacle as an opportunity and a blessing, a way for me to step forward regardless of the situation.

Understanding that barriers and obstacles, challenges, difficulties and hard times that you face are all there for a reason is important because without them you will never have the incentive to grow.

The next time you are faced with an obstacle ask yourself, “How can I turn this into a project that will work for me.” Make it a project not a problem.

About the Author

Vera Stark is dedicated to teaching you how to create more loving and lasting relationships, workplace success, improved state of health and a more prosperous and fulfilling life.

I invite you to access a copy of my free ebook #Solutions to Living Your Life With Purpose….Visit: http://bit.ly/buOwsa

Author: Brian Carson

Wayne Dyer, the famous author, speaker and teacher, likes to say in his writings that what you focus on expands. Nothing could be more profound or truthful.

What you focus on expands should be a rallying cry for all who want and are willing to pay the price to live the life they imagine. We are the sum total of all our thoughts. Our dominant thoughts create the life we have lived up to this point and will create our futures as well. Make no mistake about it.

This is not some New Age hocus-pocus. This principle has been around for centuries. The Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, that is what he is.” Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius said, “a man’s life is dyed by the color of his thoughts,” and the Buddha commented that, “All that a man is comes from his thoughts.”

All of us at one time have used this power of dominant thought, whether we realized it or not. When as I was about 12 or 13 years old, I really wanted to be a running back on my midget football team. Most of the time, I played on the offensive and defensive lines, but I set my sights on running back.

During the full three months of summer vacation, all I thought about morning, noon and night, was being the starting running back on the football team. Soon summer was over and we had our first practice. The coach asked us where we wanted to play and I said running back.

Long story short, I won the starting position in tryouts and played the entire season as the starting fullback. All from my dominant thought over the summer.

That is just a minor example of the power of dominant thought. There have been larger and grand examples throughout history, like Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan to name a few.

The important key to remember is it must be dominant thought. Half-hearted or fleeting thoughts will not bring about the desired intent. Only a thought that consumes you, that dominates your waking moments, is strong enough to make it become a reality.

Thoughts are things. Thoughts are electrical impulses and if a thought is strong enough it can reach out into the quantum field, which is also made up of various light vibrations (electrical impulses), and match you up with your desired thought. Like attracts like. This is a fact. If you couple your dominant thought with focused, confident action – life will give you whatever you ask.

About the Author

Brian Carson is a writer, Internet marketer and a self-improvement coach. He has created a new website that gives advice on success philosophy, resume creation and cover letter tips for job seekers/career changers. Visit his site at: http://www.writepowerfulresumes.com/center/index.html or to read more great articles go to http://fourpillarsofsuccess.blogspot.com/