It just so happens that today is a Sunday and my Sundays are anything but typical compared to my weekdays. I am very active in my church and so my Sundays are generally filled with church and family activities. So, like I said yesterday, weekends are very different than weekdays. My true test of my new schedule will be tomorrow.

My advice when attempting to make major changes in your life is to keep it to yourself. We all know people who talk big but never do anything. They don’t walk their talk. Don’t be one of them. In my opinion it’s better to be a man (or woman) of few words and let your actions speak for you.

With that said, I want to share the twelve changes I plan to make. Okay, I’m violating what I just told you. My above advice applies to those people who are closest to you in your life, the ones who know you best and who will have the biggest doubts that you really mean it. My purpose for sharing my twelve changes here is so you have an example of what I am talking about.

Before I share my list of changes I want to explain a few things about them. First of all, there are many changes a person could make in their life. We can’t change everything all at once. So my thinking is to find the twelve things I could change that would make the most difference in my life right now. Your list will be different than mine. You won’t see any changes on my list related to financial matters because I’m doing okay in that area of my life right now. The ones I do list are those I want or need to change.

It has honestly taken me months to put this list together. It really shouldn’t take that long to do it but I did put a lot of thought into it.

Here is my list.

1. Live by a Schedule. Develop the discipline to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Stick to a morning routine of studying, writing, meditating, exercising, planning, and getting to work at basically the same times every day and not letting anything get in the way. I realize this is a big change but I also realize that mostly it doesn’t get done simply because I don’t follow a daily schedule.
2. Eat Healthy. Be conscious of what I put into my body. My main diet will consist of fruits, vegetables and grains and only eating meat sparingly. I will cut out of my diet soft drinks and other sugared drinks. I will cut out high-fat and high-sugar foods. I will be sensible in my approach, not be fanatic or extreme.
3. Tone My Body. I currently exercise by running or hiking 4 to 5 times a week. This is good aerobic exercise but does nothing for toning my whole body. My goal is to develop a plan for daily body toning exercises to help me be healthier, look better and feel better.
4. Medicine Free. I have struggled with headaches and migraines for years. I have dealt with them using over-the-counter pain medicine and also prescription migraine medicine. I believe if I accomplish the first three items on my list that I will have fewer headaches to deal with and can free myself from pain medicine. At some point I would like to be free of taking any medicine at all for any reason.
5. Improve My Relationship with My Maker. I believe in a Supreme Being who created all things. I want a better relationship with Him by doing things that please Him. I want to know Him better by studying His word and talking to Him often. I want Him to communicate with me regularly. I want Him to be on my side when I fight the battles of life.
6. Correct My Eyesight Naturally. Using natural methods, I will attempt to correct my eyesight. I want to do this for several reasons. First to find out if it can be done and second to be free from the hassle of glasses and the constant care of them.
7. Significantly Improve My Memory. Using current memory enhancing technologies, I would like to improve my memory abilities to a significant degree.
8. Wake Up Without an Alarm Clock. I believe that the human mind and body can be trained to automatically wake up at any desired time if trained to do so. I would like to learn to do this mostly out of a desire to master myself and not be so dependant on external crutches.
9. Learn to Speed Read. One of my loves is books and of course the reading of them. I believe that leaders are readers. At my current rate of reading I will never finish all the books that I own. My goal is to use proven methods and train myself to speed read.
10. Be 100% Punctual. A character flaw of mine is to cram too much into a day and not give myself enough time to be where I need to be on time. My goal is to be much more conscious of time and how long things really take and then plan accordingly to allow me to be 100% punctual.
11. “Fireproof” My Marriage. There is a great movie called Fireproof that I watched some time ago. It made me look at my marriage as I have never looked at it before. I also must confess that I never cried so much watching a movie as I did watching this one. In the movie there is a 40-Day Challenge with steps to make your marriage better. I plan to follow this challenge to improve my marriage.
12. Be a Positive and Happy Person. This may seem like a small thing but in reality it is huge. Most people in life are much more negative than they realize and that goes for me too. My hope is to have a smile on my face most of the time, to never speak ill of another person, and to always look for the good in any situation.

Well there you have it. As I ponder the task of making these twelve changes and reporting regularly on a public forum such as this, it is a little intimidating. Can it really be done? Am I going to be a huge public failure? Will anyone care to read about it? All I can say is, what do I have to lose? Wish me the best!

What can you become?

Can you totally change your life? What could you accomplish in a year’s time? Could you master all aspects of you life in a year’s time? How much of a total change could you make? If you could be the person you wanted to be, who would you be?

These are questions I constantly ask myself. I have thought and pondered these questions incessantly for years. I would like to find the answers. And that is what I intend to do.

Most of my past posts on this web site have been in the form of an article. I would like to change my direction with this web site and use it for what blogs were really created for: an online journal.

As you may have gathered by reading this website, I have a passion for Self-Mastery. It’s something I strive for every day in my personal life. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail – but I always learn.

One idea I have had for quite some time is the possibility of doing a total life makeover. Dave Ramsey has his Total Money Makeover. What if you could do a “Total Life Makeover?” What if you could design the person you would like to be and then make it happen? What if you could say, “One year from today, this is who I will be.” What would you give to be able to do that?

This may sound over-ambitious and I may fail miserably, but this is what I intend to do!

This is my plan: I will determine 12 major changes to make in my life in the next 12 months – one for each month. These would be the 12 most important and impactful changes I could make – 12 things that would make the biggest difference in my life. Then I will work and focus on one major change for each of the next 12 months with the idea that one year from now I will have accomplished all 12 changes and essentially be a new person – the person I want to be. I know it sounds crazy but what do I have to lose?

As I go through this process I intend to report on my progress on a daily basis on this web site. I will write about what works and what doesn’t work – my successes and my failures.

Part of my motivation is, of course, to improve my life. But another part is my desire to explore the human potential to see what we are really capable of doing. What are the boundaries and limits of human achievement and accomplishment? Are there any?

So, starting November 1^st I will begin my new journey.

Price tags

Everything is this life has a price tag. It’s up to you to read it correctly and decide whether you want to invest in it or not. You are the one who does the buying and selling. There are no special bargains or half-off sales. You reap all the profit or loss. Nature never fails. It always has and always will reward you for your right choices and punish you for your wrong choices.

What I’m talking about are The Price Tags of Life. What this means is that everything we do, every habit that we have, every action we perform, has a price tag attached to it. If you think about it and examine your actions and habits closely you will discover what their price tags are. We need to examine the price tags of life and see what it really costs us to do the things that we do. After we count what it costs and add up what we gain and then strike a balance, we can see if we are coming out ahead or not.

Smoking Example

There are many different examples. Let’s look at smoking. Let’s suppose you smoke. To determine whether you should or shouldn’t you need to determine what it is costing you. You take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle from top to bottom. In the left column write down all the benefits that you gain by performing this habit. Then in the right column write down what doing this habit is costing you.

You could do this with any number of habits or behaviors. One would be getting up every day and running. One could be the improper use of drugs such as painkillers. It could be an addiction to pornography. You can take any of these things and examine them closely and write the benefits and the costs and strike a balance. It helps you see clearly the price you are paying for that particular action or habit. Then you can determine whether or not it’s worth it. Some may be obvious but it’s still good to look at it because we may not realize what it’s actually costing us.

Drug Abuse Example

For example, let’s suppose you were a person who uses painkillers improperly. So you would write on the left-hand side of the page the benefits of using the painkillers. The benefits may be that whenever you use painkillers it gives you a sense of wellbeing. It just makes you feel good all over. You feel calm inside. It takes away the pain, not only physically but emotionally. That’s what a painkiller does – it removes pain. Other benefits perhaps are when you don’t feel good or are tired or don’t feel like doing something you could take a painkiller and after a while you feel pretty good. I can’t think of any other benefits of taking painkillers but if there were more you could list them.

Now on the right side of the page you start writing down what it cost to use painkillers. First of all you jeopardize your health, knowing that the painkillers are not good for your body. They’re not good for your heart. Every time you indulge in this habit it is damaging your body. Of course there are the actual costs. Somehow or another you are either buying these painkillers or are obtaining them in some other illegal way. So you have the actual costs in money. Another cost would be the risk that you take because what you’re doing is illegal. So you’re taking a legal risk every time that you take these painkillers. Another cost is that it impairs your judgment. When you think you are thinking clearly and you think you are acting rationally you may not be because the painkillers are affecting your mental state. They are impairing your ability to reason. Another cost is that you’re putting yourself in danger when you drive a car or operate any equipment because your reaction time is impaired. Another cost is that after a while you need more of the painkillers to get the same effect. So you need something more or harder to get the same effect. It becomes an addiction and you need to increase the dosage. Another cost is that usually this kind of a habit is done in secret. Your children, your spouse and the other people around you don’t know because you go to great lengths to hide it and conceal it from them and you always have the worry of being found out. This costs you two things: one is the constant worry of being found out and two is the real cost of being found out and losing the trust and respect of those who are close to you – your loved ones, your children, your spouse, your friends.

As you go through this and add up the benefits and add up the costs and then strike a balance you can see if what you’re doing is really worth what it’s costing you. You may want to put a value or weight on each of the costs and benefits such as a scale from one to ten. Some costs may be small and some may be great. Same with the benefits, some are small in value and some are large. So put a value on it so you can more accurately see what your habit or behavior is costing you in relation to its benefits.

Exercise Example

You could do this same thing with exercising each day. The benefits would be increased health, more energy and stamina, living longer and so on. The costs would be that you have to get up early in the morning. It requires effort. It’s not enjoyable. It takes time. You list the costs and benefits and determine if it’s worth it.

Relationship Example

Another example would be a relationship that you’re in and what it’s costing you. I’ve worked with people who are in relationships that are very damaging to them, to their whole wellbeing, to their future, and yet they stay in that relationship. They give reasons like, “he’s such a good friend, he’s always there for me, he’s so understanding.” Yet this supposed good friend, this understanding friend, is using them and taking advantage of them and in some ways abusing them and yet they don’t see it. They see the small benefit they gain and yet they fail to see what it’s really costing them such as their future opportunities in life or their future happiness.

Pornography Example

Another example is when I work with individuals who have a problem with pornography. On the left side of the paper you list the benefits such as the ecstasy, the pleasure, the release of stress they get when they view pornography. Then you start adding up the costs on the right side such as the warping their sense of what a true, loving relationship should be. They risk their job. They risk going to jail if they are into child pornography. They risk losing the love and respect of their spouse, their children, their community or their church. They risk losing the things they hold dear as far as the spiritual aspects of their life such as their relationship with God, knowing that they are offending God and distancing themselves from Him. They risk affecting their ability to commune with their creator by indulging in these things that are clearly offensive to God. Other prices they pay are stealing time from work if they indulge at work. There is the cost of simply wasting hours and hours of time looking at pornography and wasting what you cold have accomplished with that time. Those are the prices you are pay.

Review the Price Tags Every Day

Once you have done this little exercise then read these two lists every night. Don’t just read it over but review and think about each item on the list. See what it’s costing you and determine in your mind if it’s worth it. Do this on a daily basis. I am aware of people who have done this and within three weeks have made startling changes. They experienced no more desire to indulge in their habit. By bringing to their mind every day what it was costing them they were able to make that mental adjustment. They gradually gained self-mastery over their habit.

So my message today is to examine your life and look at the things that you may be struggling with and examine the price tags attached to them. Count the costs and determine if the benefits are really worth it. You may be surprised what you find out. Resolutions seldom work. Promises to never do it again are rarely kept. But reading The Price Tags of Life can help you gain intelligent self –mastery and thus change the course of your life.

Thank you.

Master Yourself, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson

Epiphany - I’m not sure of the definition but I think it has to do with an “Ah ha!” moment when you learn something new or understand something for the first time. I feel like I’m having one today.

Right now, as I write this, I’m on top of a mountain, taking a day to be alone to think and to meditate.

A depressing discovery

Let me back up a little. I took some time yesterday to try and come up with a plan for change. As I went through years and years of my files containing goals and lists of changes I wanted to make I became very depressed. I saw a pattern of doing the same thing over and over and never making any real progress. For a brief moment as I sat at my desk at home I just felt like giving up, like it was a losing battle that I’ll never get a handle on.

I have to confess – I am a goal and list person – meaning I like to make lists of my goals, the changes I want to make. When I saw how many lists of goals I had made over the years and how I seem to be writing the same things over and over again and never making any progress – well, that really got me down.

So when I went to bed last night I was pretty bummed and I couldn’t sleep. I knew there must be some other way this is all done. I went to my library and looked through my books and pulled three out. I had already read these books so I just wanted to skim and read those things that I had underlined. The first two books were okay but the third book really made sense. It is entitled The DNA of Success by Jack M. Zufelt. I was up until 2:00 a.m. reading.

An enlightening discovery

He pretty much described me and my failure at making goals work. Then he talked about Core Desires. I won’t go into a lot of detail here but in a nutshell your Core Desires are those things you want so much and are so much a part of you that you don’t have to write it down. It’s inscribed in your heart. He talked about the idea that there are times when you decide to do something and for one reason or another you just can’t get it done. You procrastinate and it just doesn’t happen. And then there are other times when you get your mind on something and you just can’t stop, you’re obsessed with it, you can stay up all hours of the night and you have tons of energy.

The difference between the two is the second one involved a Core Desire and the first one didn’t. So the book really made sense to me – that perhaps much of what I was trying to accomplish was unrelated to my Core Desires or at least I need to look at it as a means to accomplish my Core Desires.

Michael Jordan

One example he gave that hit me hard was of Michael Jordan. No one can dispute that this man is an amazing success – yet he never had to sit down and write out his goals. It was coded in his DNA that he wanted to be the best basketball player there ever was. He didn’t have to write this down or make long lists of changes he needed to make. He saw in his mind and heart exactly who he wanted to be and worked every day at achieving that. He says:

I have the desire to become the best person and player I can become, but I approach everything step by step. It’s all mental for me. I never write anything down. I just concentrate on the next step. I envision what kind of person and player I want to become and I approach it with that end in mind. I know exactly where I want to go, and I focus on getting there.

Because he did that, all of the details took care of themselves. Instead of driving himself like a taskmaster he was totally motivated and driven internally to reach his aim, his Core Desire.

Yearnings, desires, passions

I see now where I have been going about it all wrong. What’s funny is I have hit upon this idea from time to time in my notes and writings but never recognized it for how powerful it truly was. In fact just recently I was out for a hike in the morning. As I do from time to time I recorded my thoughts on a micro-cassette recorder. This is what I said:

June 13, 2007 – Sometimes we focus on the smaller things like getting up on time or overeating or whatever, and those are good things. But what we need more is an overall self-image of who we are. Sometimes if we see the big picture or the overall image of ourselves then the little things fall into place.

As I’ve said before, I believe God gives us clues about what our purpose is in this life, what our life’s mission is. We need to examine our yearnings and desires and passions and understand that God doesn’t just put them there to torment us. He doesn’t give us these yearnings and desires for no reason at all any more than he doesn’t give a honey bee the desire to seek and gather nectar without the existence of a flower. It’s a natural thing. You have desires and yearnings because you really do have a purpose in this life and you really do have the possibility of achieving it. That’s my belief.

So there you have it. There is another way to achieve that doesn’t require goals, motivational speakers, positive mental attitudes, affirmations or visualizations. Some of these may be the wheels on the train but they don’t provide the steam. Your Core Desires provide the steam.

A prime example

It’s interesting that as I learn about this concept of Core Desires I can now look back in my life and see where I have experienced it without realizing it. In fact, my creation of this website is a prime example. It was only one month ago that I came across the concept of creating a website such as this. I saw how it had the possibility of fulfilling several of my Core Desires. I dove in head first, so-to-speak. My every waking moment found me thinking and pondering this idea. I was totally obsessed with it and began immediately to work on it. You could hardly call it work – it was total enjoyment for me. I created one whole website and wasn’t satisfied with it and scrapped it and created another. I learned all I could about websites and blogging and on and on. It was pure enjoyment for me because it was helping fulfill one of my Core Desires.

The poem from the past

Its funny how my past comes back to haunt me or bless me at times. Ironically many years ago, before I was even married, I had come across an unnamed poem that I liked so much that I committed it to memory. Since I didn’t know its name I entitled it Desire. I haven’t recited it or even thought about it in years and yet a framed copy of it hangs in my office. It’s ironic because of how precisely it describes what I’m talking about today. This is the poem:

Desire
(Author unknown)

If you want something bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
To work day and night for it,
To give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it,

If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough
Never to tire of it,
And life seems all empty and useless without it,
And all that you dream and scheme is about,

If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, plan for it,
Pray with all your strength for it,

If you’ll simply go after the thing that you want
With all your capacity, strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope, confidence and stern pertinacity,

If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt
Nor sickness nor pain of body or brain
Will keep you away from the aim that you want,

If you’re dogged and grim,
Besiege and beset it,
And you’ll get it!

I have recited that poem perhaps a hundred times over the years, but today, for me, it has new meaning.

Mission in Life and Core Desires

Things don’t happen in your life unless you have a deep desire for it, a passion for it. You can write down all the goals you want but unless they are tied to your Core Desires they just aren’t going to happen. I suggest you read my articles entitled: An Overpowering Mission in Life and Ponder Your Life – Find Your Mission. What these articles do is help you understand and discover your Mission in Life, which, in reality, is the fulfillment of your Core Desires. As I continue to learn more about these concepts I will share with you what I learn. Thank you.

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson