I took an empty tin can and cut both ends out and split it on the side. I wrapped it around the rusted hole in the exhaust pipe and clamped it on with hose clamps. I started the car up and it sounded so much better. I was so proud of myself for fixing my car with very little cost or effort. My worries were over – or so I thought!

The next day as I was driving to work I began to smell a strange odor in the car. It got worse and worse and suddenly I realized it was smoke. I looked down to see where it was coming from and saw smoke coming from the carpet on the floor between the two front seats.

I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and turned the engine off. I looked under the car and found my clever exhaust pipe patch glowing red hot. Had I driven my car much further it most certainly would have burst into flames. That was a close one! I ended up taking my car into the muffler shop anyway and having an expert mechanic weld a new pipe on. It ran great after that.

How many times do we have something in our lives that needs to be fixed and we attempt the quick-fix, the clever and easy method, only to end up with a near disaster in the end?

Some things in our lives take more than band-aid fixes. Are you guilty of trying the fad diets, the miracle creams, the instant-hypnosis, the get-rich quick schemes, the insider trading tips, the instant piano courses, and on and on? Some things can’t be fixed or done overnight. Some things require patience and real, determined, effort.

Thank you.
Copyright © 2010 Garold N. Larson

Price tags

Everything is this life has a price tag. It’s up to you to read it correctly and decide whether you want to invest in it or not. You are the one who does the buying and selling. There are no special bargains or half-off sales. You reap all the profit or loss. Nature never fails. It always has and always will reward you for your right choices and punish you for your wrong choices.

What I’m talking about are The Price Tags of Life. What this means is that everything we do, every habit that we have, every action we perform, has a price tag attached to it. If you think about it and examine your actions and habits closely you will discover what their price tags are. We need to examine the price tags of life and see what it really costs us to do the things that we do. After we count what it costs and add up what we gain and then strike a balance, we can see if we are coming out ahead or not.

Smoking Example

There are many different examples. Let’s look at smoking. Let’s suppose you smoke. To determine whether you should or shouldn’t you need to determine what it is costing you. You take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle from top to bottom. In the left column write down all the benefits that you gain by performing this habit. Then in the right column write down what doing this habit is costing you.

You could do this with any number of habits or behaviors. One would be getting up every day and running. One could be the improper use of drugs such as painkillers. It could be an addiction to pornography. You can take any of these things and examine them closely and write the benefits and the costs and strike a balance. It helps you see clearly the price you are paying for that particular action or habit. Then you can determine whether or not it’s worth it. Some may be obvious but it’s still good to look at it because we may not realize what it’s actually costing us.

Drug Abuse Example

For example, let’s suppose you were a person who uses painkillers improperly. So you would write on the left-hand side of the page the benefits of using the painkillers. The benefits may be that whenever you use painkillers it gives you a sense of wellbeing. It just makes you feel good all over. You feel calm inside. It takes away the pain, not only physically but emotionally. That’s what a painkiller does – it removes pain. Other benefits perhaps are when you don’t feel good or are tired or don’t feel like doing something you could take a painkiller and after a while you feel pretty good. I can’t think of any other benefits of taking painkillers but if there were more you could list them.

Now on the right side of the page you start writing down what it cost to use painkillers. First of all you jeopardize your health, knowing that the painkillers are not good for your body. They’re not good for your heart. Every time you indulge in this habit it is damaging your body. Of course there are the actual costs. Somehow or another you are either buying these painkillers or are obtaining them in some other illegal way. So you have the actual costs in money. Another cost would be the risk that you take because what you’re doing is illegal. So you’re taking a legal risk every time that you take these painkillers. Another cost is that it impairs your judgment. When you think you are thinking clearly and you think you are acting rationally you may not be because the painkillers are affecting your mental state. They are impairing your ability to reason. Another cost is that you’re putting yourself in danger when you drive a car or operate any equipment because your reaction time is impaired. Another cost is that after a while you need more of the painkillers to get the same effect. So you need something more or harder to get the same effect. It becomes an addiction and you need to increase the dosage. Another cost is that usually this kind of a habit is done in secret. Your children, your spouse and the other people around you don’t know because you go to great lengths to hide it and conceal it from them and you always have the worry of being found out. This costs you two things: one is the constant worry of being found out and two is the real cost of being found out and losing the trust and respect of those who are close to you – your loved ones, your children, your spouse, your friends.

As you go through this and add up the benefits and add up the costs and then strike a balance you can see if what you’re doing is really worth what it’s costing you. You may want to put a value or weight on each of the costs and benefits such as a scale from one to ten. Some costs may be small and some may be great. Same with the benefits, some are small in value and some are large. So put a value on it so you can more accurately see what your habit or behavior is costing you in relation to its benefits.

Exercise Example

You could do this same thing with exercising each day. The benefits would be increased health, more energy and stamina, living longer and so on. The costs would be that you have to get up early in the morning. It requires effort. It’s not enjoyable. It takes time. You list the costs and benefits and determine if it’s worth it.

Relationship Example

Another example would be a relationship that you’re in and what it’s costing you. I’ve worked with people who are in relationships that are very damaging to them, to their whole wellbeing, to their future, and yet they stay in that relationship. They give reasons like, “he’s such a good friend, he’s always there for me, he’s so understanding.” Yet this supposed good friend, this understanding friend, is using them and taking advantage of them and in some ways abusing them and yet they don’t see it. They see the small benefit they gain and yet they fail to see what it’s really costing them such as their future opportunities in life or their future happiness.

Pornography Example

Another example is when I work with individuals who have a problem with pornography. On the left side of the paper you list the benefits such as the ecstasy, the pleasure, the release of stress they get when they view pornography. Then you start adding up the costs on the right side such as the warping their sense of what a true, loving relationship should be. They risk their job. They risk going to jail if they are into child pornography. They risk losing the love and respect of their spouse, their children, their community or their church. They risk losing the things they hold dear as far as the spiritual aspects of their life such as their relationship with God, knowing that they are offending God and distancing themselves from Him. They risk affecting their ability to commune with their creator by indulging in these things that are clearly offensive to God. Other prices they pay are stealing time from work if they indulge at work. There is the cost of simply wasting hours and hours of time looking at pornography and wasting what you cold have accomplished with that time. Those are the prices you are pay.

Review the Price Tags Every Day

Once you have done this little exercise then read these two lists every night. Don’t just read it over but review and think about each item on the list. See what it’s costing you and determine in your mind if it’s worth it. Do this on a daily basis. I am aware of people who have done this and within three weeks have made startling changes. They experienced no more desire to indulge in their habit. By bringing to their mind every day what it was costing them they were able to make that mental adjustment. They gradually gained self-mastery over their habit.

So my message today is to examine your life and look at the things that you may be struggling with and examine the price tags attached to them. Count the costs and determine if the benefits are really worth it. You may be surprised what you find out. Resolutions seldom work. Promises to never do it again are rarely kept. But reading The Price Tags of Life can help you gain intelligent self –mastery and thus change the course of your life.

Thank you.

Master Yourself, Master Your Life

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson

Epiphany - I’m not sure of the definition but I think it has to do with an “Ah ha!” moment when you learn something new or understand something for the first time. I feel like I’m having one today.

Right now, as I write this, I’m on top of a mountain, taking a day to be alone to think and to meditate.

A depressing discovery

Let me back up a little. I took some time yesterday to try and come up with a plan for change. As I went through years and years of my files containing goals and lists of changes I wanted to make I became very depressed. I saw a pattern of doing the same thing over and over and never making any real progress. For a brief moment as I sat at my desk at home I just felt like giving up, like it was a losing battle that I’ll never get a handle on.

I have to confess – I am a goal and list person – meaning I like to make lists of my goals, the changes I want to make. When I saw how many lists of goals I had made over the years and how I seem to be writing the same things over and over again and never making any progress – well, that really got me down.

So when I went to bed last night I was pretty bummed and I couldn’t sleep. I knew there must be some other way this is all done. I went to my library and looked through my books and pulled three out. I had already read these books so I just wanted to skim and read those things that I had underlined. The first two books were okay but the third book really made sense. It is entitled The DNA of Success by Jack M. Zufelt. I was up until 2:00 a.m. reading.

An enlightening discovery

He pretty much described me and my failure at making goals work. Then he talked about Core Desires. I won’t go into a lot of detail here but in a nutshell your Core Desires are those things you want so much and are so much a part of you that you don’t have to write it down. It’s inscribed in your heart. He talked about the idea that there are times when you decide to do something and for one reason or another you just can’t get it done. You procrastinate and it just doesn’t happen. And then there are other times when you get your mind on something and you just can’t stop, you’re obsessed with it, you can stay up all hours of the night and you have tons of energy.

The difference between the two is the second one involved a Core Desire and the first one didn’t. So the book really made sense to me – that perhaps much of what I was trying to accomplish was unrelated to my Core Desires or at least I need to look at it as a means to accomplish my Core Desires.

Michael Jordan

One example he gave that hit me hard was of Michael Jordan. No one can dispute that this man is an amazing success – yet he never had to sit down and write out his goals. It was coded in his DNA that he wanted to be the best basketball player there ever was. He didn’t have to write this down or make long lists of changes he needed to make. He saw in his mind and heart exactly who he wanted to be and worked every day at achieving that. He says:

I have the desire to become the best person and player I can become, but I approach everything step by step. It’s all mental for me. I never write anything down. I just concentrate on the next step. I envision what kind of person and player I want to become and I approach it with that end in mind. I know exactly where I want to go, and I focus on getting there.

Because he did that, all of the details took care of themselves. Instead of driving himself like a taskmaster he was totally motivated and driven internally to reach his aim, his Core Desire.

Yearnings, desires, passions

I see now where I have been going about it all wrong. What’s funny is I have hit upon this idea from time to time in my notes and writings but never recognized it for how powerful it truly was. In fact just recently I was out for a hike in the morning. As I do from time to time I recorded my thoughts on a micro-cassette recorder. This is what I said:

June 13, 2007 – Sometimes we focus on the smaller things like getting up on time or overeating or whatever, and those are good things. But what we need more is an overall self-image of who we are. Sometimes if we see the big picture or the overall image of ourselves then the little things fall into place.

As I’ve said before, I believe God gives us clues about what our purpose is in this life, what our life’s mission is. We need to examine our yearnings and desires and passions and understand that God doesn’t just put them there to torment us. He doesn’t give us these yearnings and desires for no reason at all any more than he doesn’t give a honey bee the desire to seek and gather nectar without the existence of a flower. It’s a natural thing. You have desires and yearnings because you really do have a purpose in this life and you really do have the possibility of achieving it. That’s my belief.

So there you have it. There is another way to achieve that doesn’t require goals, motivational speakers, positive mental attitudes, affirmations or visualizations. Some of these may be the wheels on the train but they don’t provide the steam. Your Core Desires provide the steam.

A prime example

It’s interesting that as I learn about this concept of Core Desires I can now look back in my life and see where I have experienced it without realizing it. In fact, my creation of this website is a prime example. It was only one month ago that I came across the concept of creating a website such as this. I saw how it had the possibility of fulfilling several of my Core Desires. I dove in head first, so-to-speak. My every waking moment found me thinking and pondering this idea. I was totally obsessed with it and began immediately to work on it. You could hardly call it work – it was total enjoyment for me. I created one whole website and wasn’t satisfied with it and scrapped it and created another. I learned all I could about websites and blogging and on and on. It was pure enjoyment for me because it was helping fulfill one of my Core Desires.

The poem from the past

Its funny how my past comes back to haunt me or bless me at times. Ironically many years ago, before I was even married, I had come across an unnamed poem that I liked so much that I committed it to memory. Since I didn’t know its name I entitled it Desire. I haven’t recited it or even thought about it in years and yet a framed copy of it hangs in my office. It’s ironic because of how precisely it describes what I’m talking about today. This is the poem:

Desire
(Author unknown)

If you want something bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
To work day and night for it,
To give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it,

If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough
Never to tire of it,
And life seems all empty and useless without it,
And all that you dream and scheme is about,

If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, plan for it,
Pray with all your strength for it,

If you’ll simply go after the thing that you want
With all your capacity, strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope, confidence and stern pertinacity,

If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt
Nor sickness nor pain of body or brain
Will keep you away from the aim that you want,

If you’re dogged and grim,
Besiege and beset it,
And you’ll get it!

I have recited that poem perhaps a hundred times over the years, but today, for me, it has new meaning.

Mission in Life and Core Desires

Things don’t happen in your life unless you have a deep desire for it, a passion for it. You can write down all the goals you want but unless they are tied to your Core Desires they just aren’t going to happen. I suggest you read my articles entitled: An Overpowering Mission in Life and Ponder Your Life – Find Your Mission. What these articles do is help you understand and discover your Mission in Life, which, in reality, is the fulfillment of your Core Desires. As I continue to learn more about these concepts I will share with you what I learn. Thank you.

Copyright © 2009 Garold N. Larson

(This is an excerpt from the book THIS MYSTICAL LIFE OF OURS by Ralf Waldo Trine, first published in the 1907 and is now in the public domain.)

There is nothing more true in connection with human life than that we grow into the likeness of those things we contemplate. Literally and scientifically and necessarily true is it that, “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” The “is” part is his character. His character is the sum total of his habits. His habits have been formed by his conscious acts; but every conscious act is, as we have found, preceded by a thought. And so we have it — thought on the one hand, character, life, destiny on the other. And simple it becomes when we bear in mind that it is simply the thought of the present moment, and the next moment when it is upon us, and then the next, and so on through all time.

One can in this way attain to whatever ideals he would attain to. Two steps are necessary: first, as the days pass, to form one’s ideals; and second, to follow them continually whatever may arise, wherever they may lead him. Always remember that the great and strong character is the one who is ever ready to sacrifice the present pleasure for the future good. He who will thus follow his highest ideals as they present themselves to him day after day, year after year, will find that as Dante, following his beloved from world to world, finally found her at the gates of Paradise, so he will find himself eventually at the same gates. Life is not, we may say, for mere passing pleasure, but for the highest unfoldment that one can attain to, the noblest character that one can grow, and for the greatest service that one can render to all mankind. In this, however, we will find the highest pleasure, for in this the only real pleasure lies.

The question is not, What are the conditions in our lives? but, How do we meet the conditions that we find there? And whatever the conditions are, it is unwise and profitless to look upon them, even if they are conditions that we would have otherwise, in the attitude of complaint, for complaint will bring depression, and depression will weaken and possibly even kill the spirit that would engender the power that would enable us to bring into our lives an entirely new set of conditions.

Each one is so apt to think that his own conditions, his own trials or troubles or sorrows, or his own struggles, as the case may be, are greater than those of the great mass of mankind, or possibly greater than those of any one else in the world. He forgets that each one has his own peculiar trials or troubles or sorrows to bear, or struggles in habits to overcome, and that his is but the common lot of all the human race. We are apt to make the mistake in this — in that we see and feel keenly our own trials, or adverse conditions, or characteristics to be overcome, while those of others we do not see so clearly, and hence we are apt to think that they are not at all equal to our own.

Each has his own problems to work out. Each must work out his own problems. Each must grow the insight that will enable him to see what the causes are that have brought the unfavorable conditions into his life; each must grow the strength that will enable him to face these conditions, and to set into operation forces that will bring about a different set of conditions. We may be of aid to one another by way of suggestion, by way of bringing to one another a knowledge of certain higher laws and forces, — laws and forces that will make it easier to do that which we would do. The doing, however, must be done by each one for himself.

(This is from the book WITHIN YOU IS THE POWER by Henry Thomas Hamblin, first published in the 1920’s and is now in the public domain.)

Great has been the controversy in the past, over the vexed subject of fate versus free will. On the one hand, fatalists claim that man is so closely bound to the wheel of fate it is impossible for him to live his life in any different way from that which is mapped out for him. He can bring a quantity of first-class evidence in support of his claim and believes in his theory with all his heart. On the other hand, the advocate of free will believes just as whole-heartedly that man is not bound at all, being as free as air. He, too, can bring plenty of evidence in support of his theory, which confirms him in his belief. Each one of them thinks that the other is wrong, yet they cannot both be wrong! Let us therefore examine the subject for ourselves, for it is an important one, being intimately connected with the subject which this book discusses.

First of all, let it be said, they are both wrong, in part, and right, in part. Man is bound to the wheel, yet at the same time, he has free will. Let us, therefore, explain this seeming paradox.

It is an ancient truth of the inner teaching that man, when he is unevolved and before he is ‘unfolded’, is bound to the wheel of fate very closely. The unevolved man follows his desires, thus creating for himself a future from which he cannot escape. When, however, he becomes more evolved and emancipated, he begins to resist following his desires and strives, instead, to follow higher things. This creates for him a better future and thus he becomes free in comparison with his former slave state. Man is a slave to fate as long as he is a slave to the desires of the earth plane. He is, however, free to overcome lower things and thus rise to higher. When he does this he ceases to create a painful future for himself and thus becomes free.

There is, therefore, fate which is self-created. It is necessary to acknowledge this before we can proceed further. One who has not had much experience of life or who has not been a close observer, may deny that there is such a thing, but one who has had great changes in his life, against which he has fought and struggled in vain, knows that there is a purpose working behind the events of life, against which even kings and mighty men are powerless. There come times in man’s life when he moves heaven and earth, figuratively speaking: prays until he can pray no more: sacrifices, it may be, his money, his health, his prospects, and does everything that is in the power of a human being in a vain attempt to stave off a threatened disaster. But, in spite of all his efforts, in spite of his cries to a pitiless heaven, the relentless march of fate cannot be stayed. It moves forward like a huge juggernaut and crushes his hopes, his dearest idol, his very life itself or all that then makes his life worth living–and leaves him desolate.

‘If then,’ you may ask, ‘fate is so pitiless and so powerful, what can be done with it and where does free will enter into the matter?’ In reply it must be admitted at once that it is no use fighting fate. The more man fights it, the more completely he gets broken. There are certain main events in each life which must come to pass. These events and changes are inevitable and it is hopeless to fight against them. While these things, which constitute what we call fate, are inevitable and therefore cannot be avoided, it rests with ourselves how we meet these adversities and disasters. If we meet them in the wrong way they break us. If, however, we meet them in the right way we become stronger through discipline and experience, thus becoming better fitted to bear life’s responsibilities and to overcome its difficulties and temptations. One who meets the set-backs, griefs, bereavements and disasters of life in the right spirit becomes a strong and rich character. He becomes mellowed through experience. strong, stable, a helpful influence to all who meet him.

When things go smoothly and life is a merry round, no philosophy or religion seems necessary, and ‘as for an inward power, what of it?, we can do very well without it.’ So say the thoughtless and inexperienced, but there come times in every life, when, not only is a philosophy, and that a very sound one, necessary, but also a power, of which the finite self knows nothing, is needed in order to raise the soul out of the dust and ashes of its despair. It is one thing to try to meet trouble and adversity in the right spirit and quite another thing to have the power to do so. One who thinks that he has no power within him but all the power is in circumstances, can never rise victorious over his troubles and become a conqueror over life’s difficulties; but one who realizes that he possesses a wonderful power that can raise him up, no matter how crushed he may be, can never be a failure in life. No matter what may happen to him he will play the man and act a noble part. He will rise from the ruins of his life and build it anew in greater beauty and splendour.

At this stage it is necessary to point out that there is a difference between ‘big fate’ and the circumstances of life. ‘Big fate’, as it sometimes is called, antedates this present life and its cause does not come within the scope of this little book. Sufficient if we say here that, through the ages, we reap as we sow, therefore our future depends upon how we meet life and its difficulties now. ‘Big fate’, then, cannot be successfully fought, simply because it is the working of Omnipotent Law, but our life generally and its circumstances depend upon how we meet ‘big fate,’ and how we recover from it. No matter how seemingly unkind ‘fate’ may be, it is possible for us to make our life a beautiful thing. Inspired and energized by the Power within, we can rise from the ashes of our dead hopes to build anew our life in greater beauty and more in harmony with the Divine Ideal.

In addition to the ‘fate’ or ‘future’ which every thought and action build, there is, behind all evolution, a gigantic plan. This wonderful plan that embraces all, from the stupendous conception of a limitless universe down to the smallest electron, is being worked out through the ages with absolute precision. Nothing can prevent this plan from being brought into manifestation. It gathers up our past and weaves it into our present life, just in the same way that it is busily gathering up our present life and weaving it into future fate. It works it all into the big plan, somehow, and with infinite skill. The plan is bound to be followed (this, too, is fate) but how we follow it, either with willingness and happiness, or opposition and woe, rests with us this is free will).

Those who have studied the Occult sciences may say ‘what about planetary influences?’ They will point out that, according to the ancient science of astrology, a man’s life is determined by the ’star’ under which he is born. This is true, if he gives in to the influences around his path. At different times in his life man meets with influences that are sometimes ‘favourable’ and at other times, adverse. These influences are, however, only influences after all, and one who will stand firm during periods of adversity and refuse to give in, relying upon the great Power within to carry him through, will find that he can weather all storms of life and come out of his trials greatly strengthened. He cannot prevent these influences from coming around his path of life, but he can rise superior to them. He will meet with failures and set-backs but he will make of these, stepping-stones to success. He will experience griefs and bereavements, but out of these he will build a finer character and rise to higher things. One, however, who gives in to these things, refusing to rise again and reconstruct his life, condemns himself to further suffering, thus making utter shipwreck of his life.

Let the despairing take heart again. Believe in the Power within you and you will rise to heights before undreamed of. With this Power to help you, you can accomplish the apparently impossible.

Our life here is not governed by a capricious Being who blows first hot and then cold or who favours one person and tortures another. The Supreme Being works through laws that are absolutely just and unchanging. Therefore all disaster and trouble in the life is the effect of certain causes. These causes are our own wrong doing in the past, which set in motion forces, against which the power and wit and wisdom of man are powerless. However, because the fundamental law of the Universe is love, it follows that the working of the law of cause and effect is not vindictive. Its object is our highest good, viz., to bring us into union with the Divine or in tune with the Infinite. Therefore, by rising up to a higher plane and coming more into harmony and union with the Divine, we rob even ‘big fate’ of something of its power. We cannot oppose it, for by so doing we fight against Omnipotence, but we can forestall it by doing willingly, and of our own accord, that very thing which experience comes to teach us.

Another cause is that the soul has failed to learn certain lessons, therefore, in this life, many painful experiences are brought to bear, in such a way, as to teach the necessary lessons. The lessons are, however, learnt only if painful or unpleasant experiences are met in the right way. So long as man believes that he is unjustly treated by fate and that he does not ‘deserve’ what life metes out to him, he intensifies his troubles, both now and hereafter, through not learning the lessons that life desires to teach. When, however, man realizes and admits that life is just and that the cause of all his troubles is within himself, he, like the prodigal son, comes to himself and, soon afterwards, begins his homeward journey. Yet another cause is that soul is deficient in character. Strength and stability of character can be built up through the soul meeting trouble and difficulty. Again it must be pointed out that they must be met in the right spirit.

It will be seen, then, that our future depends entirely upon the way we think and act in this life. Our future lies in our own hands. If we violate the law of love in this life, we create disaster and suffering for the future, which will have to be met, in the form of ‘big fate’ of a painful character, some day. Therefore, by right thinking and right doing now, we not only ameliorate conditions in this life, but we also create a future that will be more harmonious and freer than anything we have experienced hitherto.

It is also necessary to point out that, even in this life, some of its big disasters are the result of thoughts and actions committed during this present existence. A youth or young man may commit a folly that brings, in after life, a terrible retribution. Or he may do another man a grievous wrong and years afterwards someone else does the same wrong to him. It is always an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth on this plane of cause and effect, but the Great Way Shower, by His teaching of the power of love, enables us to rise above these lower things and live a life of harmony and peace.