Comments on: Self-Pity – The 'Luxury' You Can't Afford http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/ Master Your Mind, Body, Money and Relationships Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:43:41 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Garold N. Larson http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Garold N. Larson Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:45:26 +0000 http://garoldlarson.com/archives/38#comment-373 Cristina, One of the most difficult things to do is to get other people to change. First they have to realize they need to change and second they have to want to change. Until those two things happen you have very little chance at influencing them. There is one classic book that could be of great help. It is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. We could all learn some great lessons from that book. I wish you the best in your efforts with your mother. Cristina,

One of the most difficult things to do is to get other people to change. First they have to realize they need to change and second they have to want to change. Until those two things happen you have very little chance at influencing them. There is one classic book that could be of great help. It is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. We could all learn some great lessons from that book. I wish you the best in your efforts with your mother.

]]> By: cristina http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/comment-page-1/#comment-372 cristina Wed, 08 Apr 2009 00:24:37 +0000 http://garoldlarson.com/archives/38#comment-372 hi. i have my mom. she is a doctor and consels about 15 people a day and has improved lives by the hundreds! but she always seemed to be the one suffering. till some days back i thought i was the mean bitch who couldn't even make her own mom happy. so i changed. and began to do just as mom has been wanting me. but then another month or so went by and what i realised was that the sadness and blaming was there to stay. being interested in psychology and getting to the bottom of problems i was able to keep aside my emotional grudges. thats when i realised it was self pity that she is suffering from. since that day i have been determined to bring her out of this downward spiral. i have read up a lot about it on the web. but the problem is how do u help someone who considers herself to be master of psychological problems!! how does one prove to the self pitier that they are a victim of victim mentality! hi. i have my mom. she is a doctor and consels about 15 people a day and has improved lives by the hundreds! but she always seemed to be the one suffering. till some days back i thought i was the mean bitch who couldn’t even make her own mom happy. so i changed. and began to do just as mom has been wanting me. but then another month or so went by and what i realised was that the sadness and blaming was there to stay. being interested in psychology and getting to the bottom of problems i was able to keep aside my emotional grudges. thats when i realised it was self pity that she is suffering from. since that day i have been determined to bring her out of this downward spiral. i have read up a lot about it on the web. but the problem is how do u help someone who considers herself to be master of psychological problems!! how does one prove to the self pitier that they are a victim of victim mentality!

]]> By: Garold N. Larson http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/comment-page-1/#comment-371 Garold N. Larson Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:01:11 +0000 http://garoldlarson.com/archives/38#comment-371 Christi, Thank you for your comment. It sounds like you have had some difficult times in your life. Sometimes you get so far down that it seems impossible to get out of it. Life seems so bleak at times that you feel like giving up. May I suggest several of my other posts that may be of help. http://garoldlarson.com/2008/08/09/overcoming-self-criticism/ http://garoldlarson.com/2008/06/27/who-do-you-think-you-are/ http://garoldlarson.com/2008/09/26/what-are-you-focusing-on/ I hope this helps. May the Lord bless you in your quest to overcome self-pity. Garold Christi,

Thank you for your comment. It sounds like you have had some difficult times in your life. Sometimes you get so far down that it seems impossible to get out of it. Life seems so bleak at times that you feel like giving up. May I suggest several of my other posts that may be of help.
http://garoldlarson.com/2008/08/09/overcoming-self-criticism/
http://garoldlarson.com/2008/06/27/who-do-you-think-you-are/
http://garoldlarson.com/2008/09/26/what-are-you-focusing-on/
I hope this helps. May the Lord bless you in your quest to overcome self-pity.

Garold

]]> By: christi http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/comment-page-1/#comment-370 christi Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:50:08 +0000 http://garoldlarson.com/archives/38#comment-370 Self-pity... something that has consumed me all my life and now I sit with some real health issues and job-related stuff due to it. It's not worth it, but breaking the habit after years and years isn't easy. It's hard to know where to start when you have reached out and reached out and have so many voices telling you what to do... and you just have to do it. Fear gets in the way. Medication gets in the way. So hard to train the mind to think other directions... so many reasons to not move forward. Then you find yourself in a muddle, no friends, no respect, no anything... dreams just sitting on the shelf and talents wasted. If you find yourself in it, get a hold on it before it consumes you. Grateful my kids have learned a better lesson... my mother was steeped in self-pity and I followed in her footsteps... my kids were wise enough to go the other direction. Now need to get mom moving forward... because standing still is going nowhere! Self-pity… something that has consumed me all my life and now I sit with some real health issues and job-related stuff due to it. It’s not worth it, but breaking the habit after years and years isn’t easy. It’s hard to know where to start when you have reached out and reached out and have so many voices telling you what to do… and you just have to do it. Fear gets in the way. Medication gets in the way. So hard to train the mind to think other directions… so many reasons to not move forward. Then you find yourself in a muddle, no friends, no respect, no anything… dreams just sitting on the shelf and talents wasted. If you find yourself in it, get a hold on it before it consumes you. Grateful my kids have learned a better lesson… my mother was steeped in self-pity and I followed in her footsteps… my kids were wise enough to go the other direction. Now need to get mom moving forward… because standing still is going nowhere!

]]> By: Jeneane http://larsoninstitute.com/2008/10/08/self-pity-the-luxury-you-cant-afford/comment-page-1/#comment-369 Jeneane Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:44:47 +0000 http://garoldlarson.com/archives/38#comment-369 <p>I can't imagine the amount of energy and time wasted in the world on self-pity! We all could accomplish so much more if we would turn our focus from ourselves and onto others. It seems once we fall into the pit of self-pity it can be very difficult to get out. How can you do that - get yourself out?</p> I can’t imagine the amount of energy and time wasted in the world on self-pity! We all could accomplish so much more if we would turn our focus from ourselves and onto others. It seems once we fall into the pit of self-pity it can be very difficult to get out. How can you do that – get yourself out?

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